On a Sunday afternoon a few weeks ago, my husband Vince left for work and I didn’t want him to go – I felt this pang of longing to spend more time with him, to continue the magical weekend that we had been having.
I let myself fully FEEL this longing – not the unhealthy desperation I have had in the past – but the true desire to spend more time with my incredible life partner, the love of my life, the man I have dreamed of since I was a little girl and first heard about romance.
It has been a very long and painful road to get to the fairytale I am now experiencing in my daily reality.
I went through intense loneliness, addiction, depression, 2 divorces,
and yet here I am – with the man of my dreams,
living a real life movie,
fully encompassed in joy and love,
affection and affirmation,
comfort and passion,
laughter and life.
This is literally a dream come true!!
After Vince left for work I watched the movie Last Love where Michael Caine plays an elderly man whose wife has just died. In one scene he is walking down the street where they used to walk together, and he is imagining her beside him, feeling her hand in his.
I started weeping.
And in a flash of remembering, I realized while sitting on that couch,
wanting to spend more time with Vince,
that before I met him,
finding him was my all-time BIGGEST DREAM.
I am a BIG dreamer, and I daily have to balance my intense desires for my future dreams with living in my current reality.
But suddenly realizing that Vince was once my biggest dream,
made me stop and feel this weight lift off my shoulders –
maybe I should let myself enjoy this a little more,
instead of striving and longing for what’s next?
If Vince died, how much would I care about my big dreams of success in the external world?
How much would I care about status or money?
If I lost him, suddenly I would realize his insane importance to me –
this great love of my life, my best friend, is one of the greatest treasures in my life.
Can I let go of the need to attain success, and realize
that I already have it?
Vince is the most incredible partner I could ever dream of having – he is so thoughtful, so constant in his adoration and affection for me, so supportive of literally everything in my life.
He really sees me, really knows me.
I never feel small with Vince – he always reminds me who I really am.
He is malleable and spiritually open, his heart is soft and strong at the same time. We can talk about anything and everything. We can watch endless movies, cuddle for hours and hours. He appreciates every meal I make as if we were at the most expensive restaurant in the world. He is the most grateful person I’ve ever met in my life.
I am continually reminded that true love is real, just by looking in his eyes.
I know, you think it sounds too rosy, right? Of course, we have our bumps – we are human, we fight, I get my feelings hurt – this is real life.
But it’s also just as real that it has become a dream.
We’ve been together 5 years, and in that time we have brought out the best versions in each other – we don’t even look the same as we looked 5 years ago – we’ve lost 100 pounds between us, which represents to me all the excess stuff that was clouding who we each really are.
We have painfully rubbed each other in all the right places, to reveal the treasure in each of us, and the place we’re at now is the dream – we have each been refined and now we can fully enjoy the fairytale we always knew was possible.
Was he the perfect prince when I met him?
No, but he is as close as they get now!
This incredible relationship is the greatest success, the biggest dream of my life.
What else is there, really?
Today is the day of my biggest success, simply because I love and am loved.
When all is said and done, relationships are ALL that matter.
I’m gonna take some time today and celebrate,
let myself ENJOY that I am already living in my biggest dream.
There is nothing to do, nothing to attain, just someone to love.
Have you not found the love of your life yet?
Don’t worry – If I can do it, you can do it.
I was a seemingly ‘lost cause’, and yet as I transformed my life by healing from my past and letting my true self shine more and more, I started attracting the people who were truly meant for me. One of them was my life partner, Vince. As you fill your life with love and purpose and passion, whoever is meant for you will naturally come to you. No matter what your past experience, you were created and designed to love and be loved, whatever that dream looks like for you. Keep dreaming, keep uncovering the treasure of who YOU really are, and everything meant for your path will magically and effortlessly appear in its perfect time.
P.S. Haven’t had time to watch my full 43-minute, 7-video transformation musical story on YouTube yet? How about watching #5 in the series, (it’s less than 5 min.) in which I tell the story of meeting Vince and sing a song I wrote for him!