The Book That Led Me to Let Go of Christianity: ‘Dying To Be Me’

Obviously it is never ONE single book or life experience that leads us to take a huge leap of faith.

I was already on a journey away from Christianity when this book appeared at just the right time in my spiritual development – June of 2013. I was on a path that was surprising to me, but that I had to trust, simply because of the insane increase in joy and peace that was flooding my life. My spiritual journey of JOY had led me beyond all ‘Christian activities’. I had stopped going to church, stopped reading my Bible as a daily ritual, and even stopped reading Jesus Calling (the highly inspirational book that I still recommend to people).

The only thing left holding me to this religion, was my deeply-ingrained Christian belief system.

Dying To Be Me, by Anita Moorjani, appeared in my life the day before my mom and I went on a trip from my home in Colorado to Minneapolis to visit family. On the road trip, we took turns reading out loud to each other, and it is a couple of days that I will never forget. I couldn’t get enough of it. It was difficult to even stop and take a lunch break or use the restroom, because I didn’t want to stop reading. We devoured it. We both just kept laughing and crying and saying “WOW!”

It was the spiritual food we had both been looking for. It was so amazing to share those precious moments with my incredible mom, who has always been such a shining personification of Love and Grace all throughout my life!

Dying To Be Me is a memoir of Anita Moorjani’s life. She tells her journey through advanced stage-4 cancer, to a near-death experience, to complete healing.

She grew up in Hong Kong and was raised in a traditional Hindu family. She recounts her childhood struggles of attempting to manage all of the cultural and religious demands that were placed on her, while trying to find and express who she really was as a person. I identified with her struggle, and it was very enlightening to read someone’s similar journey to mine, but with a religion outside of Christianity. It helped to open my grid – there are so many people on this earth of various religions and cultures, and it’s so easy for us to get stuck in our little and narrow American-Christian worldview.

As an adult, Anita was stricken with cancer, and after an intense 4-year battle, was at the end of life as she knew it, with lemon-size malignant tumors all throughout her body. Her body shut down, and she was catapulted into the most transformational experience of her life. She experienced ‘the other side’ – and was embraced by the most complete and extravagant LOVE she had ever known.

The biggest inspiration from this unconditional love was her realization that she was not a failure as she had always believed, but that she was truly magnificent and powerful.

This single experiential revelation during her time on the other side, changed her view of life and of herself so completely, that all traces of  cancer were gone from her body within 4 days of returning to the physical realm.

It is a documented, medical case that is still a complete mystery to the scientific field. But it’s not a mystery to Anita, because on the other side she learned EXACTLY why she had cancer, which gave her the key to healing herself when she returned to her body.

In this inspirational book, she shares everything she learned from her heavenly experience, and the content of it changed my life. This is the book that taught me about my own magnificence and limitlessness. My spirit resonated completely with everything she said, and one passage in particular, seemed to LEAP off the page at me:

“When I step into the realm of ambiguity I’m really at my most powerful. Letting go of all previous beliefs, disbeliefs, dogma, and doctrines puts the infinite universe at my disposal and works to give me the best possible outcome for my life. This is where I receive the most internal clarity. It’s where magic happens.”

 It thrilled me, yet scared me, because I had the voice of Christian fear in my ear, “You’re being deceived! This is a ploy of the enemy to take you away from the truth!”

But I could not listen to that voice. I had to trust my own voice of LOVE and JOY and peace – and the thrilling, adventurous journey that had led me to this moment.

I had to trust myself.

So I took the leap, and wrote down in my journal that I was letting go of all previously held doctrines and beliefs, and that I would be open to whatever answers God wanted to bring me for the next step on my path.

I opened myself to the mystery and adventure of LIFE and LOVE.

The results were instantly astonishing. I felt the most incredible LOVE flow over me. I felt FREE!

The only thing that I can compare it to was my BIG spiritual awakening in 2008. This was almost as intense.

I have been on a magical journey ever since, which has led me to more love, more freedom, more enthusiasm and passion, more peace, than I EVER experienced while I still had my limited Christian theology chaining me to the ground.

And although I entered the realm of ‘not knowing anything concrete’ about God or the spiritual world, I felt more secure, more stable, more SOLID, than I ever had in my life before.

Our strength and security does not come from our beliefs.

It comes from surrendering to LOVE.

And as I’ve surrendered, I’ve received answers to my questions just when I needed them. But the answers are not what bring me LIFE.

It’s always returning to the simplicity and power of trusting in LOVE that  transforms my reality every day and gives me life.

I HIGHLY recommend this book, if this blog post has inspired you at all.

Maybe it will change your life, like it changed mine!

P.S. Check out my full life story, motivational talks, and my inspirational music on my YouTube channel.

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18 thoughts on “The Book That Led Me to Let Go of Christianity: ‘Dying To Be Me’

  1. I have read Anita’s book and felt how you did. I am glad to have stumbled across your story. I am having trouble letting go of the old beliefs. I was raised Catholic and so of course I think something bad will happen if I do this!!! How did you let go?!?!? Thank you for sharing ! Tanya

    • Hello Tanya – Bless your heart! I know exactly what you’re feeling. I really thought I would be punished or evil things would happen to me if I let go of my religion. But it’s worth the risk! And what you will find, is that there is no real risk! The ONLY true reality is love. So give yourself the time you need – there is no rush. But when you are ready to jump, you will know. And then life becomes more like a magical fairy-tale than you ever dreamed it could be. There is so much freedom in releasing these beliefs. You don’t need them! They are only limiting you from flying into your highest freedom and destiny. I understand, though, how difficult it is to do – believe me, I understand. So maybe the fact that I’ve done it and am experiencing so much joy from it, still over a year later, will help you and encourage you. Let me know if you have any specific questions – I am here for you!

  2. Thanks Noelle for sharing your truth, the truth, the courage as well as the encouragement, your connection, oneness with the Source, guiding, and facilitating the declaration, and touches the resonant. Anita’s sharing is the urge within all, whether heard or unheard, the intrinsic divine calling, the self yelling even if inaudibly…”Dying to be me…” and as is heard and adhered, with overwhelming gratitude and humility, and is realized that the “connection”—the revival, actually, of the connection—happens only by going beyond the doctrines…tenets…they, undoubtedly serving their purpose, yet, only till a point, as the truth of being, the unconditional love of the Source, oneness with It…is independent, and confining to norms, restricts the experience, till it can’t any longer, the high tide of the surge, the untiring guidance and unwavering word of the Source, sweeping all aside, with gratitude definitely, acknowledging the transcended, transcending all conventions and barriers to the experience. Thus, the grand designing of the journey of realization, oneness calling out to the oneness, and guiding to realize, embody truly, the oneness with the Source and thus all—unbound…infinite….

    Love and warm regards,

    Sushmita

    • Thank so much Sushmita – bless your heart! You are a beautiful writer – such truth in everything you say. So poetic! I’m so excited to connect with you.

      Much love!

      Noelle

      • Thank you, Noelle! Rest assured, it meets with reciprocation, as the connection, manifest, is resonance made manifest…resonance of oneness…Its grace, thriving…healing…liberating…. And in fact, it is a magnificent feeling to feel, in the midst of so many of us experiencing the same…in times truly we are blessed to be in physical form…times of en masse evolution, and thus, revolutionary times. As God is thanked, so are you and Anita, and all…and that includes all who grace this page of discussion, all of us moving through the various chapters of our life…through lifetimes…. Your words, truth dripping, definitely heals all they touch….

        Thanks for your appreciation. At the same time, the same, the humble reiteration comes out: It is truth…the truth of being that finds its way out, healing, all the way…. It is the Source that is credited with all…. It is, so we are….

        And as, through you, a wonderful healing post has been posted, would like to mention, it is Conversations with God, of and through Neale Donald Walsch, that the Source forwarded, from within, to lead to that I am…and the calling…and definitely, marvelously complimented and complemented by all other books that preceded and succeeded…and continue to pour in, accompanied—divinely orchestrated—by being and things, events and moments….

        Yes…existential truth is unsettling, to begin with, but, when accepted and surrendered to, the warmth disarms all dis-ease…. It is an ongoing process, guiding and processing, fulfilling the purpose of being in human form, presenting opportunities and fulfillment, crystallizing the uniqueness to fullness of that we are….

        Thank you once again….

        Love and warm regards,

        Sushmita

  3. Thanks for sharing this, Noelle. The fastest growing segment of spirituality today is the “Spiritual But Not Religious” movement that is discovering that God, the More, the Sacred, Reality (a rose by any other name) is not limited to one or any religion. Religions can be helpful when they help us to describe our spiritual experiences. But, as you have said, they can be harmful and hurtful when used to keep people in fear and bondage. Neither God nor love can be boxed. I’m glad you are discovering this and sharing it with others.

    • Thank you Bill! I had NO idea there were so many others on a similar path. I am SO happy there are. I have been in a cocoon for so long. It’s like coming HOME to be connected with everyone. I am not alone!

      • the more you let go of things, the more you go with the flow…the more you get connected with similar minded people all over the planet. I am also new on this trip and it feels great. Worries are gone and we will never be alone!

  4. I too had almost the exact experience after reading Anita’s book in 2013. As I integrated Anita’s message into my life, I began to feel different, think different, and behave different. I prayed and surrendered my will to “God.” Within months I was freed from the clutches of Mormonism, Christianity, and religion in general. Strangely, while I do not “know” anything more about God than I did before, I was able to let go of my need to “understand” and then feel a greater connection to myself and the power of Love. I have Anita’s CD in my truck, and when I commute I go on the journey of greater clarity, unconditional love, and awareness with her as my guide. After reading your post via Anita’s website, I can see that I am not alone in my journey and am thrilled to connect with you and everyone else who responded to your post.

    • Thank you so much for reading and commenting, Russ — what a beautiful story you have! I’m very excited to connect with you – it’s amazing to find others who have been brave enough to leave religious beliefs behind. It’s NOT an easy thing to do. I’m so happy and blessed by your comment! Love, Noelle

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