When I Am Me – a song from my new album

 

It’s Music Time! In this 6-min video I share the powerful lyrics to my song, “When I Am Me” along with a story of a fan who recently had a spiritual awakening while listening to this song – YAY!!

If you’ve ever felt TENSION in yourself and in your relationship with others simply by being fully who you are, you will resonate with this song. Make sure to watch until the end to see a clip of me singing this song live at a recent church gig.

This show is a weekly opportunity for me to share the background stories behind the 14 songs on my new music album, Music of Me. I’m so excited to “unwrap” the album for you!!! I’m so proud of it and thrilled to share it with you!

To hear samples of all 14 songs and purchase the album, go to iTunes or cdbaby:

http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/noellemarie

Why I LOVE My Ego

There’s a lot of talk in the spiritual world of awakening about spirit vs. ego.

I myself have written about it a lot.

It’s true, in Spirit we are free, and in ego, we are chained.

Spirit = love, ego = fear.

And on and on.

And I think because of these basic truths about spirit and ego there can be a tendency to demonize the idea of the ego: to be ashamed of it, to fight it, to be afraid of it.

And yesterday I had an epiphany: I absolutely LOVE my ego. I’m grateful for it. I don’t want it to go away.

Before you think I’ve gone crazy, let me unpack this for you. If you’re anything like me, I think this post will REALLY uplift you today. So open your heart, open your mind, and join me on a crazy ride.

I believe we are spiritual beings having a human experience. I think the core of who I am, is LOVE. Spirit. Joy. Peace.

I think I existed long before I came into this body. And I believe at our core, in Spirit, we are all connected. We are ONE.

But for some reason, right now, I have chosen to have a human experience.

And in this life on earth, in this THRILLING portion of my eternal existence, I am named Noelle. I am human. I’m tall, I have long hair with a pink streak, I’m sensitive, passionate, and crazy emotional. I have BIG DREAMS. I’m excited to have a huge impact on our world. I see myself on stages inspiring huge crowds of people and doing big music tours. I’m so excited for the world to know who I am and to have lots of money and to make a GIGANTIC change in our world.

I want to inspire as many people as I possibly can.

I love sex and movies and walks on the beach and I love getting angry and experiencing anxiety and even pain. For me, this is all what makes me human.

I love coffee. I love journaling and being alone. I cry VERY easily. I have small boobs and now I’m so happy about that! I don’t wear bras anymore AT ALL. I’ve learned to love the hair on my legs.

I LOVE being in a best friend extremely close relationship with my life partner. I love cuddling with Vince and I love having space from Vince.

I love that I’m special and unique and different from every other human in existence, throughout time. I love that I can feel other people’s energies, and that I have to limit my time around other humans in order to fully be me.

I love that one day I can watch a clip of me singing and feel like I’m a horrible singer, and the next day I can watch the same clip and feel that I’m one of the best singers in the world.

I love that I’m extreme and dramatic and that I deeply care about people, but that I’m able to set amazingly strong boundaries for myself whenever I need to.

I love every part of me, including my ego.

My ego – my anxiety, fear, pain – is one of the greatest gifts I have. I LOVE when I get offended or start to feel really heavy about something, because I choose to see it as a treasure hunt. My ego is leading me to a truth I need to find.

So I say, “Ah ha! I feel heavy. I feel sad, I feel depressed. Ok ego, where are you leading me?”

And I go to my journal and delve into it, deeper and deeper, until I hit the light and the joy and the release. And my ego leads me to an AMAZING revelation, like the one I’m sharing with you right now.

You see? My Spirit works in tandem with my ego. There is nothing to fear about ego. When we squash the ego, it will just fester and cry out until we listen to it.

I choose to listen, and then I am catapulted into deeper freedom and joy than I had BEFORE the pain or the heaviness.

I don’t have the GOAL, like some do, to transcend my ego and leave it behind. I WANT to be human. I LOVE being human. I can feel on top of the world one day, fully in spirit and alive and joyful, and that’s amazing.

But then the next day I can have a huge fight with Vince and feel all kinds of pain and anger, and deal with it and struggle with it and listen to my feelings and allow myself to FEEL all of it, and it feels fucking incredible. To just FEEEEEEEL. And then as I embrace everything I feel, Vince and I enter a new level of passion and freedom and it’s all just AWESOME. The shit, the fights, the anger, the pain, the fear – when else are we going to experience all of these amazing emotions? This is our time, people. We’re HUMAN!

So I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to absorb into the whole, and become a blob of Spirit with everyone else. I want to be different, special, unique. I embrace ALL my desires. I embrace that I’m a leader, not a joiner. And I honor whatever YOU want to be. I honor YOUR humanity.

And if you’d rather meditate and levitate and become ONE with everyone else and live completely in Spirit transcending your ego every moment, then I say, “More power to you! That’s amazing! I honor you.”

It’s just not for me, at least not right now.

I’m not there yet, and I’m ok with that.

Right now, I’m loving both the joy and the pain, the light and the dark, the soaring and the grounding, the yin and the yang, of being fully and uniquely ME.

Reading Time: The Book That Led Me to Let Go of Christianity

Have you ever read a book that changed your life? I have.

It’s called Dying To Be Me, by Anita Moorjani.

This book impacted me SO much, I wrote about it a LOT in my own first book, Bliss Beyond Belief.

In today’s 8-min. episode of “Reading Time” I read out of my book, Bliss Beyond Belief, Chapter 9: From Religion to SPIRIT. This powerful section reveals the moment I was inspired to LET GO of my Christian beliefs.

“Dying To Be Me,” is the book that inspired me to take this brave step in my journey of awakening. And my life has never been the same! Enjoy these powerful 8 minutes of my magical journey out of religion, into Spirit.

Reading Time with Noelle – Episode 2 – “The Book That Led Me To Let Go of Christianity”

Did you miss last week’s episode of “Reading Time with Noelle”? It’s a powerful one that made a lot of people cry, including me!!

For over 2 years, I did almost nothing but journal and learn how to connect with myself. I felt guilty for doing this, I felt lazy, I felt crazy, and yet it was the BEST gift I’ve ever given myself and is the REASON I’m such a powerful, productive person today. If you struggle with feeling the need to be productive with your time, as opposed to just ENJOYING your time, you will be VERY UPLIFTED by this video. Enjoy!

Reading Time with Noelle – Episode 1 – “How Doing NOTHING for 2 Years Led Me to My Dream Life”

Make sure to subscribe to my YouTube channel so you don’t miss an episode of “Reading Time”! Click HERE to subscribe.

There is Room for Me to Be ME

Can you feel the shift? There is energy and momentum increasing in the awakening of the planet. You may be noticing all of the horrible traumatic events taking place all over the world, but I am noticing the increase in connections and people who are waking up spiritually. There is no shortage of connections for me right now . . it’s full and incredible – there are people everywhere who are alive and awake! We are living in exciting times!

And as I feel the connection growing with beautiful souls all over the world who are resonating with me and I am finding just how many of us awakening souls there are, it’s AMAZING.

BUT it’s also brought a struggle into my life:

comparing myself to others.

As I meet all of these amazing people who are doing missions similar to mine and have gifts similar to mine, I start to doubt myself. I start to doubt that I’m special or different like I hoped I was, that my mission is unique, that there is even a place for me. And as this egoic train of thought continues, I catch myself spiraling into a slight depression.

So I took this struggle to my journal this morning, and I WOKE myself up!

And here’s what I wrote to myself:

“This is NOT about levels of greatness. We are ALL equally amazing. We simply have different ROLES on this earth. YES. Can I simply allow myself to feel the ecstasy of the unique role that I’m destined to have, without thinking that it in some way diminishes someone else? There is room for me to be me, and you to be you. In fact, we all NEED you to be you.”

And I realized that although I am discovering people with similar talents and missions, the world still needs ME. There is no one quite like me. I may be similar to others, but I am not EXACTLY like anyone else. And there is a portion of this world who desperately needs Noelle to be fully Noelle. So I can let go of comparisons that steal my joy, and just TRUST the visions of my role on this earth that bring me the MOST joy.

This weekend I was connecting with a new friend who has a dream of being a real estate agent in the Florida Keys. When she talks about this dream, she LIGHTS UP. Her voice gets stronger and her energy radiates and you almost feel for a moment like YOU’d like to go be a real estate agent, such is the contagious nature of her joy on the subject.

And this encourages me.

Because she doesn’t have a dream of singing and speaking to huge crowds and changing the world. She wouldn’t want that, anymore than I would want to be a real estate agent. But her role is just as important as mine, and vice versa. No dream is too big or too small. There’s no measurement in destiny. The only thing we need, is to follow the dream that makes us feel MOST alive. If your dream is to live a simple life, and just BE, then that is how you will change the world. You don’t need to want a world-wide mission of awakening like I do.

So let’s just allow ourselves to be EXACTLY, FULLY who we are and to follow the dreams that make us ECSTASTIC, even if it doesn’t seem like a NORMAL dream.

There is room for you to be you and me to be me.

Follow that unique feeling and vision that makes you feel ECSTATIC today. Trust it. It’s yours. No one can take it from you and no one else wants it. It’s yours to enjoy – so dream big or dream small, or something in between. Whatever you MOST desire, is what you’re MEANT to have!!

How My Blistered Feet Reminded Me to Choose Joy

Yesterday Vince and I went on a LONG walk on the beach — barefoot. It was just what I needed after recording the most momentous episode of Coffee Time ever, where I revealed my soul to the world about my current beliefs.

The sand felt so wonderful under my toes. Until about 3 miles in. Then we both started feeling it, and so we turned back. 3 miles left to walk on the beach back to the van. And as we neared the end of the walk, the bottoms of my feet were red and blistered and I was in tons of pain. All I could think about was how much my feet hurt.

And then we got to our destination and started walking up the steps to the place where we could wash our feet, and I looked up and saw a man in a wheelchair. He was sitting there looking out at the ocean waves. And in one instant, I transitioned from thinking about how much pain I had in my feet, to feeling insane GRATITUDE that I was ABLE to walk 6 miles on the beach and feel that glorious pain.

Isn’t perspective powerful? Isn’t it crazy to think how fast I could move from pain to joy? What other choice could I make today to experience joy instead of pain? What other thoughts could I choose? What different perspective could I have about anything in my life right now that would instantly transport me out of pain, into joy?

I’m gonna be honest that life with Vince in the van is not always comfortable. On my talk show I rave about our life and how insanely happy we are. But I’m gonna let you in on a little secret (well, actually a BIG secret):

We are happy, not because of the van or even because we have all of our time free. We are so extremely happy because we CHOOSE joy every day. We CHOOSE to see our lives as blessed. We CHOOSE to see that life is amazing.

I know that some people could be transported into the exact circumstances that Vince and I are in right now, and they wouldn’t be able to enjoy it. They would focus on the fact that they haven’t showered in 2 weeks or that they bump into each other all the time in their home and the van is tiny and sometimes the cops knock on their door and scare them to death in the middle of the night and sometimes they are so low on money they don’t know how they’re going to pay their bills. And the hate mail.

But that’s NOT what Vince and I think about. We CHOOSE happiness. We CHOOSE to look at each other every day, multiple times a day, and say, “I can’t believe I get a partner as awesome as you. I am SO grateful you are with me right now.” We choose to see that we have the abundance of ALL our time free to live our dreams, to do what we want, to live a purposeful, passionate life. We choose to see that we are the richest people on earth, because we have each other and because we get to live the life we want, free from obligation. We choose to see all the support we have from amazing people like you.

We choose to see that life is a miracle.

So what are YOU choosing to see today?

I encourage you, you have the power to see and feel whatever you want, right now.

Choose Love. Choose Peace. Choose Joy.