Why Raising My Coaching Rates Is Bringing Me JOY and CONFIDENCE

Money. Just the word MONEY causes a myriad of emotions for people, and for most people, they are not positive emotions. From the moment we enter the world, we begin absorbing all the limiting thoughts about money that are pervasive in our culture and families.

“Money doesn’t grow on trees.”

“Work hard, and SAVE what you earn to ensure you have enough in the future.”

“It’s not easy to make money.”

“The love of money is the root of all evil.”

“It’s sinful to want to be rich.”

“Money will ruin you.”

“There’s never enough money.”

Do any of these sound familiar?

They do to me, and I have gone through several years of deprogramming these limiting beliefs in order to get to the place I am now, where

  • I have LET GO of my attachment to money,
  • I don’t have any fear of the LACK of money,
  • I am TRUSTING in the Universe to always provide for me, and
  • I am EXPERIENCING the abundance and provision of LIFE.

And NOW as I walk more fully into my dream life, I’m at a new turning point:

I am EXCITED to receive money and to earn money DOING what I LOVE to DO.

I’m ENJOYING money – I’m LOVING money!

It’s SO FUN to make money using my gifts and talents!

Lately I have been noticing how powerful my coaching calls with my clients are.

I get done with a session, and I feel the insane power that just flowed through me to transform someone’s life.

It’s palpable.

It’s mind-blowing.

It’s life-altering.

I have a GIFT.

As I have started TRUSTING in my gift of intuition and my ability to coach people through their myriad of life issues, I have been ENJOYING it more.

Before I start every coaching call, I say to myself,

“I’m great at this.  I’m a natural at this.  I have the power of LOVE flowing through me.  I was BORN to do this.  Spirit, let me be a powerful conduit of LOVE and LIGHT to this person’s life.”

And it never fails, these sessions are AMAZING.

And as I’ve been feeling this power and great VALUE in what I’m offering to people, I’ve noticed a gap in what I’m earning versus what I’m giving.

I finish a session and I think, WOW – that was life-changing.

That was worth WAY more than what I got paid for it.

And it’s not a negative thought – it’s a joyful, exciting realization that what I’m giving to the world is VERY VALUABLE.

That what I’m giving is a worth a LOT.

That there is actually no amount of money I could receive that would equal the value of changing someone’s life, of being a conduit for their CLARITY, of being a catalyst for their transformation.

And that it’s time to VALUE who I am and what I’m doing by charging more for what I’m offering.

I will freely admit to you, that just like stepping up to ANY new level in my destiny, it’s SCARY.  There are all kinds of doubts that arise as I imagine that first call with a new client, telling them how much I charge now for a coaching package.

But along with the nerves, is GREAT JOY, INCREASED STRENGTH and confidence, as I send out this new powerful vibration to the Universe that I am VALUING my gifts and my time. That NOELLE is valuable. That NOELLE is deserving of all the resources that life has to offer, including money.

Every time I get paid for using my gifts, I feel great JOY. I feel such excitement now!

The old Noelle would have felt ASHAMED for getting paid for having so much fun. That old Noelle would not have felt deserving of getting paid well.

Not so with today’s Noelle. This new me is receiving this abundance with GREAT JOY, with the excitement of a little girl who never learned that there was anything limiting or negative about money.

When I get paid now, it feels like I’m 6 years old, and someone just bought a cup of refreshing lemonade from my stand and paid me one dollar, and they LOVE my lemonade.  YAY!!  It’s fun!!!

So what limiting beliefs do you have about money?

Are you afraid of it?

Are you ashamed for wanting it?

Do you feel deserving of getting paid a nice amount for what you do?

I encourage you to take an inventory of your current beliefs about money, and then open your heart to the possibility that they’re not true.

Let these thoughts go, and receive the abundance that is rightfully YOURS as a precious and powerful GIVER of LOVE in the world.

Life Is Not a Competition: Let Yourself Be YOU

As I embark on new and exciting parts of my destiny, my ego loves to tempt me to compare myself to others who are in similar careers as I am. I see what other leaders are doing and I am tempted to feel SMALL, or behind, or to think that I should CHANGE something I’m doing in order to be like others who are successful in my field. All of these crazy thoughts come from the world of measurement, of fear, and I will not embrace this line of thinking for one precious moment of 2015.

The TRUTH is, there is room for ME to be ME and YOU to be YOU.

ME fulfilling my biggest dream does not take anything away from YOUR biggest dream.

As soon as you can fully embrace the fact that you were BORN to do what your deepest heart is longing to do, you are then FREE to do it, and all the resources of the Universe come to your aid in fulfilling this mission that is uniquely yours.

In ESSENCE, we are all the same, all equally valuable and magnificent. Our external roles are different, and the roles we play on the earth do not add or subtract anything from our inherent value which is unchangeable, solid, and insanely huge.

There is no competition.

Let go of all thoughts of comparison.

Give yourself permission to be FULLY you.

There is ROOM for all of us to be exactly who we are!!!

I’m 18 Again!! I’m Taking Back the Lost Years

I have struggled for quite a few years with feeling like I’m BEHIND in my life.

As I drifted through my 20s in a fog of depression, addictions, and loneliness, I anxiously watched life passing me by along with all of my big dreams. So even though, at age 36, I have transformed my life and am now living in wholeness and bliss, I still struggle with the pain of having lost so many years of my youth.

Recently I read my journal from my senior year of high school. It was an incredibly special year full of passion and possibility.  I was instantly flooded with the incredible emotions I had at that time in my life.  I decided to intentionally recapture the feelings I had during that year, and bring that innocent joy into the present moment.

The MAGIC of recapturing that time in my life, is this remembering of that time when I didn’t feel any limits. I didn’t know the discouragement of trying and failing. I had ONLY Hope, Only Anticipation, Only Dreams and Passion, only the thrill of seeing something I intensely desired to BE and to DO.

So now I am experiencing all of that again.

I feel like I’m 18 again, with my whole life ahead of me, and anything is possible. I feel like I’m being given a second chance – a chance to re-write my story – a chance to be 18 again, but with all the wisdom I’ve gained in these past 18 years of heartache, divorce, depression, and being a ‘copy’ instead of the original Noelle.

Here I am, with inner peace and confidence, the confidence gained from years of dismantling the negative stuff in my childhood. Here I am, with all that strength and peace, yet in my heart I am 18 again. I can live these precious, prime years of my life BEING EXACTLY WHO I WANT TO BE – free from all pressure to please anyone, free from religion, free from the lies about my identity, free from debt, free from addiction and loneliness.

If in my mind I am 18, then I AM. That is real to me. I am in my prime. I have been let out of prison. I can hit the re-set button on my life. There are NO Limits. I feel the innocence and excitement of being that young again – the inner knowing that ANYTHING is POSSIBLE.

Those prime years of my life were stolen from me, and now I am TAKING THEM BACK.

I feel the passion of music again. The passion I had when I saw Amy Grant at the Target Center and I KNEW I wanted to be a singer/songwriter.

The passion I had before it became all about vocal technique and pristine perfection in college.

The passion I had, just from the initial discovery that I COULD sing, that I had some talent.

All the limiting beliefs are just melting away.

All the disillusionment of trying and striving, are being erased from my psyche.

I’m 18 again, and I’m taking back the years that the locust has stolen.

I am no longer bound by a F*#%@^ UP picture of my identity.

I am no longer bound by what my family wants from me, by what Christianity says about me, by church, by teachers, by anyone else.

I am obligated ONLY TO BE ME. There is an expanse of TIME laid out in front of me, given to me, as my deserving gift as a child of GOD. I can now re-live the prime years of my life.

There is no one to please anymore. I am full of passion, talents, and possibility — potential that has only been skimmed at the surface.

There are NO LIMITS.

I AM YOUNG, I am STRONG, I am FREE, and I AM READY TO LIVE!

Check out my new song, and be inspired to explore your own limitless possibilities!

It’s Ok To Feel Weak Sometimes: Embrace Your Pain to Discover Your Magnificence

Last night I watched the series finale of Gilmore Girls. As the last poignant scene of Rory and her mother eating one last breakfast at Luke’s Diner faded away, I started crying. Not the kind of crying where tears gently stream down your face, but the kind of ugly crying where your chest tightens like a vise-grip and squeezes strange noises out of your face that you hope no one ever hears.

I was surprised at how deeply affected I was by the finale of this show. I have had a habit lately of watching an episode (or 2) while eating my lunch, after I finish my blog post in the mornings. Gilmore Girls is a lighthearted, witty, strong-female-lead dramedy which I had not seen when it aired live during my college years. I had started watching it last year with Autumn when we were living in the bus, and decided to finish the last couple of seasons by myself once I discovered they had added it streaming to Netflix. Every day at lunchtime I found myself in a safe haven in this imaginary little town called Stars Hollow – it was a place I could go everyday to feel relief from the intensity of the writing I’ve been doing about my journey of moving beyond Christianity.

Yesterday, when it ended, and I found myself crying so hard, I didn’t know what to think. Where was all this emotion coming from? So this morning during my journaling time, I let myself feel the reality of my emotional state: exhausted, in a certain amount of emotional pain, and a basic feeling of weakness and brokenness. I let myself cry again, as I wrote about how I was feeling.

And this is the big difference in my life now, compared to my life ‘pre-transformation’. My journey to wholeness has taught me that whatever I’m feeling, I need to fully FEEL it.

It’s only when we resist or ignore what we’re feeling that it becomes a problem.

The journey of excavating the real ME from the egoic, false part of me, includes some intense moments of pain. But the key is, not to RUN from the pain, but to EMBRACE it. There is an instant emotional relief and release that comes, the moment you can bring awareness to whatever you’re feeling. It’s almost as if the very act of embracing the pain makes the pain feel different. It’s still there, but instead of festering, it becomes like medicine. It’s lighter. It becomes a good pain. You become deeply aware that it has a purpose, the minute you embrace it.

My current exhaustion and pain have come from the intensity of my writing and vulnerable sharing on my blog lately. I’ve come out of my cocoon. I’m no longer hiding anything. Anyone in the world who wants to know my life story, including the fact that I have left Christianity, can now read about it. And with the huge transition out of a safe cocoon into the great wide-open online world, comes a lot of intensity. My life has been suddenly flooded with judgment, support, criticism, encouragement, un-friending, new friendships, un-likes, Likes, real community, and more energy running though my veins than I ever thought possible. It’s all intense and new and somewhat draining, regardless of whether the reactions are ‘negative’ or ‘positive’.

I can no longer go back into hiding. I’m out. And while this has brought me some of the greatest joy of my life and some of the most thrilling moments and connections with people I’ve ever had, it still takes a toll emotionally. And so my job is to embrace every level of this journey, and to comfort the little girl in me who wants to go back into the cocoon where it’s safe and quiet. My job is to take her hand and lead her to the next step. To let her know that it’s ok to be nervous, or tired, or hurt. And that we’re gonna keep walking anyway.

This is success. This is wholeness. To embrace every step of the journey, whether it’s a day when I’m feeling like I can take on the world, or a day like today when I feel exhausted and weak. It’s all a part of growing into my best and highest self. And as I embrace what I’m truly feeling today, I feel lighter, I feel peace, I feel a deep joy in the midst of my brokenness.

And I remember, that every great step forward in my life – every huge transition – has come from brokenness. It’s when we are broken open that we can connect with the strength that is deep within us. It’s when we are broken open, that we can fully connect with God. When we let pain break us open, and embrace it’s beautiful purpose, what emerges from the ashes is the guts and glory of who we really are. The treasure can then shine brighter and more fully.

What pain are you feeling today that needs to be expressed? What brokenness can you embrace, that will lead you to discover your magnificence?

Don’t run from the pain, let it be FELT — express it.  You will be surprised to find that underneath the pain is the beauty of a stronger and more radiant YOU.

Photo Credit: Samat Jain

How To Be Your Own Best Friend and Rise Out of Depression

Do you talk to yourself? If so, what do you say? If you had a print out of all the things you think about yourself or say to yourself during a day, would it be an inspiring thing to read out loud?

Are they the things you would say to your best friend?

For most of my life, my self-talk was extremely negative, and I was almost completely unaware of it.

In 2006, at the height of my depression, I wrote this in my journal:

Feb 7, 2006  11:05am

I feel alone. Waking up in this studio this morning was really difficult. So glad I don’t have that day job anymore, but I realize I was doing that job partially so I could run away. From this. This facing the void. I don’t like being alone. I feel crazy when I’m alone because I think of how other people can get things done – go shopping, write letters, go work out, clean. If only I could just be normal like that when I’m alone. Instead I feel crippled. And sad. I can’t stop crying this morning. And not normal tears. Tears that just seem to flow because they have to get out, not because I think of something sad. I AM SAD. What am I sad about? I wish I knew. What am I running from? I realize I compare myself to other people a lot. Why am I so hard on myself? Of course – I hate being alone because I’m afraid of myself. I am mean. And who wants to be around someone who is mean? I think I hate myself. Why can’t I be nice and loving like I am to everyone else? I judge myself a lot. If I am not being productive, I get mad at myself. I wish I could write everything I’m thinking, but I can’t stop crying . . . . .

After my awakening in 2008 I started journaling on a daily basis, and fell in love with it!  As I did this, I noticed how extremely critical and judgmental my thoughts still were. I would never talk to a friend this way!

A few years later I decided I needed to apologize, so I wrote a letter to myself in my journal:

August 21, 2012   10:34am

Noelle,
I want to apologize for being so hard on you. I’ve been so critical of you your whole life. I’m so sorry. I’ve put so much pressure on you to achieve, to take care of everyone, to be perfect. I’ve been so wrong. I say all these mean things to you all the time. I’ve had this habit of always pointing out the things about you that are lacking, or need changing, instead of bringing your attention to all of the totally amazing things about you. I’ve told you not to make mistakes, to live carefully and to make sure not to let anyone see your weaknesses. I criticize your singing, your eating, your drinking, your use of time. I’ve instilled this fear in you of making mistakes, because I’ve been so critical of you.

I’ve been so wrong. Please forgive me. The truth is, you’re incredible. I mean, really incredible. Your spirit is absolutely radiant and beautiful and I’m the only one who’s been keeping you from being really free to shine. You are so wonderful and full of JOY and LOVE. You are so kind and full of grace for everyone. You LIGHT up every room. You were meant to fill the world with JOY. I’m not going to get in your way anymore. I’m going to support you, to encourage you, to be your biggest fan. You have so much to share with the world. So much that they need. I want to help you. I hereby declare, that by God’s grace and strength, I will be full of loving and encouraging words. No condemnation, no more judgment. Only love. So feel free to mess up, Noelle. I will be there to love you. There is nothing to fear anymore. I see who you are, and who you are is amazing. Just enjoy this time – relax and breathe and laugh – I won’t judge you anymore. Please forgive me.

Noelle

Watch my powerful video version of this topic, where I’ve turned this letter into a song (to hear JUST the 2-minute song, go to 1:20):

  Amazingly, the day after I wrote that letter was the day I was set free from my alcohol addiction for good. My addiction was intricately enmeshed with my self-degrading thoughts. Once I was free from the negative thoughts, I was open to receive all kinds of new and beautiful thoughts about my life and my destiny, which freed me from addiction.

By far, the biggest factor in my transformation has been learning how to be kind and loving to myself. It has taken years of being intentional about this, retraining my brain to focus on the bright side of my personality.

For instance, I am a very sensitive person, and I feel everything. My entire life, instead of embracing my sweet and sensitive spirit, I hated myself for crying too much, or for getting my feelings hurt too easily.

My life has been revolutionized as I have focused on the fact that being sensitive is a GIFT – that I am extremely in tune with other people’s feelings, and therefore very empathetic and compassionate – and as I have started loving myself for this quality, it has released unspeakable JOY and freedom and confidence to be the unique person I am.

The personality traits that always made me feel abnormal or defective are the very qualities that make me most powerful today.

How you feel about yourself your relationship with yourself

is the #1 determining factor in your daily reality.

You can not afford ONE lowly thought about YOU to linger in your mind!

Every thought, every word, has an energetic power of either life or death.

Are you killing yourself, or are you loving yourself to life?

There is no middle-ground.

Marianne Williamson said it best in her amazing book, A Return to Love:

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God! Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

You have inside of YOU treasure stores of wisdom, love, passion, and talents that are waiting to be awakened, ignited, honed, expanded, and ultimately shared with the world to make it a more beautiful place for all of us.

Don’t deny the rest of us your magnificence by keeping yourself shamed and hidden for one more moment.

Everything you need, everything you want, everything you’ve EVER desired, is lying dormant right inside of you.

Release your TRUE SELF by becoming your own best friend.

Your life will never be the same.

***To see more of my inspirational videos, including my musical life story, go to my YouTube channel and subscribe!